Santa Clarita — The three Democrap city council candidates from last Novembers election have announced their search for a fourth member, so they can start a barbershop quartet. “Hopefully we’re able to find someone with talent” said Brett Haddock, fondling his bow tie. Diane Trautman, Logan Smith, and Bart Haddock all failed in their efforts to get elected, so they’ve decided to spend their time doing something productive: singing on a sidewalk in front of city hall.
“It’s really a passion project for us,” said Smith from behind a bullhorn, “we just want to give something positive to the city.” Trautman, the tenor, started the effort shortly after the election was certified. “It would be great to find another woman to join the quartet,” said Trautman, exasperated, “these guys are a bit much.”
Reportedly they asked Assemblyperson Christy Smith to join, but according to Haddock “she has a career or something now I guess. Jerk.” Logan Smith, unprompted, added “and she’s not my mom!”