Valencia – The department of Fish and Game assisted with a bear after it climbed into a tree and consumed some tranquilizers in Valencia. A local woman, and self proclaimed “MILF” called the sheriff’s department to report the theft. “I was just minding my own business, getting ready to have a bottle of red wine and take a long hot bath when I noticed my tranquilizers were gone. I looked up, and saw the bear climbing the tree. This time it was a real bear, not like that lovely bear Jeremy and his husband down the street.”
Sheriffs deputies and firefighters at the scene could be overheard making played out “pickinick basket” jokes.