Valencia – The department of Fish and Game assisted with a bear after it climbed into a tree and consumed some tranquilizers in Valencia. A local woman, and self proclaimed “MILF” called the sheriff’s department to report the theft. “I was just minding my own business, getting ready to have a bottle of red wine and take a long hot bath when I noticed my tranquilizers were gone. I looked up, and saw the bear climbing the tree. This time it was a real bear, not like that lovely bear Jeremy and his husband down the street.”

Sheriffs deputies and firefighters at the scene could be overheard making played out “pickinick basket” jokes.

SCVAPT Contributor