City Council to Vote on Replacement for Abomination That is the City Flag

Santa Clarita — In a press release today, City Manager Ken Striplin announced that the city would finally be replacing the abomination that is the official city flag. The original was crafted in Microsoft Paint by 6th grader Russell Simmons, shortly after the official formation of the city.

The move comes after some harsh criticism of the flag, calling it wholly lacking in creativity, moronic, and “why would you just use the city seal as the flag? That’s nonsense.”

Staff Recommended Replacement, without the text or whatever weird buildings those were.

City staff is recommending a replacement, essentially the same as the current one but without the writing, or weird red border. Striplin also announced that the city would not seek a renewal of the trademark on the city seal itself, because “something under the Lanham act, I guess. Some lawsuits involving Houston Texas and Union County in New Jersey apparently. Who cares, no biggie.”

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