SCV Water Agency Board Members demonstrate safety of water by chewing it

On the heels of reports of contamination, SCV Water Agency Board members want to assure residents that Santa Clarita water is perfectly safe. To that end, at the last board meeting, several board members elected to consume local water to demonstrate it’s safety. “It’s like a hearty beef jerky” said board member BJ Atkins, before gagging and demanding a Diet Coke.

Several residents have done testing of small amounts of water, and the results have not been good, according to them. “There’s going to be a little bit of arsenic and poop in any test of ground water,” said board member Maria Gutzeit, “we’re doing our best to clean it, but it turns out to be really really hard.”

Reached for comment, board member Lynne Plambeck screamed something about the three spined stickleback living in a van down by the river.

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