Kathy and Bob Kellar announce Boarding School for Orphaned Racists

Canyon Country — Kathy and Bob Kellar announced today their plans to open a local boarding school. They’re calling it “The Kellar School for Orphaned Racists,” and it will be located next to Sand Canyon Country Club, in the former Servants Quarters.

“Look folks, we’ve got a real chance to help some kids down on their luck,” said Bob Kellar to the crowd of hooded attendees, “these kids really need our help. Kathy and I are delighted to open this school for downtrodden children, who want to grow up and become proud racists like us.”

The school will reportedly help the children in their careers of choice, from members of congress in Iowa, to LAPD Officers in the Rampart Division, or even lobbyists for aerospace companies.

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