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Scott Wilk Pleads Guilty to Torturing Pun

Santa Clarita – Scott Wilk, representative of California’s 21st senate district, has pled guilty today for his abuse and torture of “Got Wilk?” as his campaign slogan. “I am deeply sorry for any pain I have caused, and for those still suffering I offer my sincerest apologies” said Wilk in a statement.

Wilk, notable for his continued abuses of power and influence in local politics, said he would stop using the phrase in his reelection campaign. His current term in office and career ends in 2020. His campaign has recently begun posting to social media again, after a two year hiatus, following his election.

In his released statement, Wilk said he will start a new scholarship, “Spoiled Wilk,” which will provide financial assistance to area children currently experiencing life as his progeny.