Local Conservatives Up In Arms Over Existence of Contrarian Opinions

Santa Clarita — Over the Labor Day weekend, conservatives gathered in their safe space on Facebook — SCV Open Forum — to voice their disgust at the existence of echo chambers beyond their own. “It’s disgusting, really. How is it that people can have opinions that differ from my own? Did their life experiences lead them down a different path, exposing them to new ideas? Did they grow up with values that contradict my own? Have they the capacity for empathy? Its a real mystery to me” said Ron Bischof in a rare moment of enlightenment.

Matt Denny, SCV Open Forum President and heir to American dining franchise IHOP, said “its a shame to see Santa Clarita evolve and accept new ideas. We used to be an area where only the closed-minded simpletons could congregate and share the days party line. But now, well, all these ideas are being shared that conflict with my own world view. I’m being exposed to possibilities that the narrative to which I subscribe might be wrong. And fundamentally, that challenges every one of my beliefs. I prefer the good old days where we just accepted whatever the talking points were for that day. Much less thinking involved, and I prefer it.”

SCV Open Forum is not accepting new members unless you can present a copy of any Ayn Rand book.

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