Local Man Regains Mojo Amid Impeachment Scandal
A local man who was diagnosed as suffering from Trump Derangement Syndrome (TDS) recently alerted his medical team of his miraculous recovery. Henry Mayo medical staff held a press conference today to announce a cure for this affliction suffered by many men.
Dr. Seymore Dicke, head urologist with the hospital stated, “Today is a great day for so many men that were suffering with the life-altering, debilitating effects of TDS. For a few years now, we have treated many men that have been suffering with impotence, inverted penis and fits of rage which have been linked to watching too many hours of CNN, MSNBC or viewing the President’s Twitter feed. In some cases, we’ve seen penis inversion so extreme that it has resulted in a condition known Mangina Syndrome. We thought hope was lost until perhaps next November or if a drug could be formulated to help curtail the symptoms.”
Local resident and business owner, Gary (last name withheld due to medical privacy concerns) related that he was afflicted by TDS and how he accidentally stumbled upon a cure. “By watching non-stop coverage of Pelosi and Nadler talk about impeachment for the last couple days, I began to feel a long-lost tugging sensation in my nether regions. It was close to the feeling I used to get watching Obama speak when he was President,” said Gary. To test his hypothesis, Gary watched video of Nadler reading from the Ukrainian telephone transcript on constant loop for several hours. “That long-lost tugging feeling that I haven’t felt since November of 2016 was again felt. It was then that I knew I had found a cure for myself and so many men in Democratically controlled districts!” exclaimed Gary.
As word of this miracle cure has spread, many male Democrats have followed this advice and have video running of Nadler and Pelosi at all times so they can avoid the effects of TDS. Many have had their manginas disappear or shrink in size. Doctors cautioned however that this may only be a temporary cure and the symptoms may return if things don’t go their way with this impeachment.
