Councilman Jason Gibbs Petrified That Local Website Might Write About Him
Santa Clarita – Councilman and Mayor Pro Tem Jason Gibbs recently performed his regular monthly search for his name on the SCV APT website. “I live in a constant state of fear, worrying about the jokes they might make at my expense,” said Gibbs when asked for comment, “What if they make fun of my hairline? Or compare me to my idol Bob Kellar? They could even point out my membership in extremely racist Facebook groups, or affiliation with and support of White Nationalists!”
Gibbs says he searches his name at least once per month in an effort to stay apprised of the commentary about him. “They tell you not to read the comments, but I can’t help myself. I take it all to heart. After I made that TikTok video for the city, I watched for new comments to show up to see if anyone critiqued my dancing, or noticed the stain on my shirt. I have a wife and family to consider, I wouldn’t want a joke on an obscure, low traffic website, by a cowardly anonymous author to impact them.”
When not searching for his name, Jason Gibbs can be found gladhanding, hobnobbing, pandering, and avoiding potentially adversarial interviews that might undermine his carefully cultivated public persona.
Jerome Horwitz is a Santa Clarita native. His family traces their lineage all the way back to the 1960s when his grandparents moved to the area to start a farm in what is now Castaic Lake. Growing turnips proved unfeasible below water, so they got out of farming and started a donut shop specializing in Bear Claws. Jerome enjoys watching paint dry, and lurking in local Facebook groups.