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Owner of local satire website announces they are really going to do something with it. Seriously this time.

Santa Clarita – The owner of local satire website Santa Clarita Valley Advance Post Times announced today their intention to actually do something with the website they’ve had the keys to for several years. “You know, I took it over, did a whole rebrand thing, made it shiny, and then I just sort of forgot about it. The web hosting is on autopay, so I didn’t even realize it was still going” said owner Jerome Horwitz when reached for comment, “I even forgot to check my email for a couple years, so I didn’t see any of the almost-funny articles you writers were pitching.”

The website has been around since 2019, and has had a total of 174 articles posted, with upwards of 3 being entertaining. Among the most popular posts is one regarding Santa Clarita’s first strip club, which sees dozens of users every Friday and Saturday. “We should really put some ads or something on that page,” said Horowitz, “It sees the most traffic by a large margin. Santa Clarita really needs a strip club up here. Be sure to throw in a reference to the McRib when you quote me for your article.”

A major sore spot for the writers of the site has been a lack of compensation. “You bastards are so demanding,” said Horowitz, “Fine! I’ll see if I can find some funding to actually pay you for your work. You know, a lot of people would be happy with being paid with the experience of writing for such an esteemed organization.”

According to Horowitz, details about the future of the site will be announced in the coming weeks. Don’t get your expectations up, they’re a fickle absent-minded cheapskate with subpar intelligence and easily distracted.

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