Santa Clarita Valley Advance Post Times

EDITORIAL: Let KHTS Turn to Rubble

This editorial is in response to Carl Goldman’s whiny, self-serving, and misguided editorial here. Stop what you’re doing. Put down your reusable shopping bag and

Beloved Local Website Up for Grabs; Ideal for Aspiring Digital Landlords with Low Standards

Santa Clarita, CA – In a shocking yet somehow entirely predictable twist, the beloved niche website, the Santa Clarita Valley Advance Post Times, is now

Frequently referenced Brown Recluse and Porto’s Jokes Found Dead in Apparent Murder-Suicide

Santa Clarita, CA – In a shocking twist that has left local Facebook groups reeling, the beloved and oft-repeated jokes, “Is this a brown recluse?”

Sand Canyon Announces Secession from Santa Clarita and Formation of New City

Sand Canyon — In what can only be described as an overnight blitzkrieg, residents in the former neighborhood of Santa Clarita voted to secede and

by SCVAPT Contributor

College of the Canyons to Open Santa Clara Riverbed Campus

Citing the need for education to be freely available for all in the community, College of the Canyons has just announced the opening of the

by Harry Taintman

Henry Mayo Hospital Opens 24 Hour Health Tip Line

Citing the need for more community outreach to prevent small health problems from turning into costly and urgent health care emergencies, the Henry Mayo Hospital

by Harry Taintman

Dick’s Sporting Goods and Big 5 announce merger. New entity to be called Small Richard’s

Coraopolis, Pennsylvania — Big 5 Sporting Goods has announced that it is being swallowed by Dick’s Sporting Goods. The deal is reportedly worth $40 million.

by SCVAPT Contributor

Local Development Halted by Discovery of Ancient Artifacts

According to a press conference today by Greg Grundle of Pardee Homes, development has been immediately halted of their Skyline Development in Canyon Country. “Some

by Harry Taintman

Kathy and Bob Kellar announce Boarding School for Orphaned Racists

Canyon Country — Kathy and Bob Kellar announced today their plans to open a local boarding school. They’re calling it “The Kellar School for Orphaned

by SCVAPT Contributor

SCV Water Agency Board Members demonstrate safety of water by chewing it

On the heels of reports of contamination, SCV Water Agency Board members want to assure residents that Santa Clarita water is perfectly safe. To that

by SCVAPT Contributor

Rain Comes to Santa Clarita, causing loss of ability to drive for many

The second in a series of rainstorms hit Santa Clarita this morning, causing many people to completely forget how to drive. “You just don’t think

by SCVAPT Contributor

TimBen Boydston caught “Ding Dong Ditching” Laurene Westes house

A video released Thursday by Laurene Weste apparently shows former councilman TimBen Boydston “ding dong ditching” her house. “What an idiot, I have a Ring

by SCVAPT Contributor

Anthony Hopkins spotted wandering Placerita Canyon, really creeping people out

Placerita Canyon – Anthony Hopkins was spotted today, aimlessly wandering around Placerita Canyon and Masters College. Approached by several residents, he reportedly just asked “is

by SCVAPT Contributor

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